I'M READY TO TALK!

Hello my fellow emergency worker.  How are you this wonderful wonderful day?  I am super duper, the weather is great, the family is healthy, and I am happy. 

Well, I am ready to talk.  I have been in the Emergency field for 20 years now and I got some serious stories.  Stories as a young EMT, stories as an FTO (Field Training Officer), stories as a 911 Operations Supervisor, stories as a CISM (Critical Incident Stress Management) Peer Counselor, and stories as the CISM Coordinator for the Southern Pacific Region of the largest ambulance company in the United States.

Maybe you have noticed, I have only shared a few personal stories like 'MY FIRST TRAUMA AS AN EMT',  'MY CRITICAL INCIDENT AS AN EMT', and I discussed my very first psycho partner in the post, 'EMT STRESS FROM YOUR PARTNER'.  The reason I haven't wrote about my personal experiences so much is because I am very very reluctant.  I have a lot in my head, and I know that it affects me daily because I specialize in stress.  When you specialize in stress, you learn to relax, and that relaxed state provides a quiet mind, and a very aware mind of what you are thinking.

Boy do I have memories!  As I was meditating, I realized that I need to get these stories out of my head and onto paper, blog in this case.  I believe that it will be therapeutic for me, and I believe it could really help some of you out there who are having stress.  So, I wanna talk.

When I first started as an EMT, I worked at what everyone thought was a very prestigious company.  I was very honored to work there because many of my friends tried to apply, they couldn't get in, and I did.  It was a solemn declaration that I was very fortunate. 

At the time I was hired, there weren't any other females.  Within my first three to six months, I was sexually harassed, physically threatened, and verbally hazed.  Because I am an advocate for not taking any BS, and I grew up with all brothers who instilled in my mind to defend myself, there were a couple of people who suffered their own consequences by loosing their job.  This was not a very good way to begin my career and I was affected by it for the next couple of years.  Meaning, life was not easy with some individuals.  But, I survived!  MWA HA HA! ;0)

There were a few individuals who were very kind to me.  Some knew what was going on, and they went out of their way to make me feel welcome at work.

Pretty crazy, eh?  All of this 'stuff' I went through really enhanced my B*tch qualities. 

Looking back, what I learned is, I am one tough cookie who could handle a whole lotta lotta.  We are talking about working in a not so easy environment sometimes.  Although I was on an ambulance with a partner, who may have been really cool, depending on who it was, I still had to go to the stations and accept the way I would be received.

I am so very grateful for this experience because it taught me a lot about myself.  I learned that I could go through the appropriate channels, although it did not sit well with some supervisors, and get results when dealing with inappropriate behavior.  It taught me that not only do we have stress running calls on a busy day, but we also have a lot of stress in the work environment.  It taught me the beginning steps, and gave me glimpses on how to handle stress in the work place.  It also taught me to help others who had similar situations.

What I wish I would have done differently?  I wish I would have been less angry, and I wish I had not been such a B*tch at this time in my life.

How could I have done it differently?  I could have learned to not let things get to me so easily, and I could have learned to manage my anger better.  If I was more easy going and less angry, I would have enjoyed me more, I would have had better quality relationships, and I wouldn't have gotten so burned out so easily.

Anger and unkindness, towards yourself and others, is a very big part of burnout.

For all of you out there who are having a hard time because of your environment at work, there is a better way.  There is a way that we can not let others get to us, and there is a way that we can enjoy life even though others are so unkind they are making our surroundings unpleasant.

One of the most important things is to work on your own way of reacting.  We can react in better ways, we can overcome anger, and we can overcome unkindness.  When people are being unkind, we don't like it, and so why would we be unkind in turn?  Wouldn't that make us just like them?  That would be becoming what we don't like, right?

We can become more understanding to people's crazy crazy inappropriate behavior, recognize that they are inappropriate, and approach them with professional appropriate communication.  Never alone, by the way.  Always have a witness who is aware of the situation.

The first step to any conflict is to discuss it with the person.  If that doesn't work, you go through the appropriate channels.  Many of you will say, or think, ya right!  That's not how things are done, we do not snitch.  Ya well, if you don't take care of it others may not ever become aware, and the behavior may never stop.

Lastly, one of life's greatest lessons is, learn to not let people get to you.  Now I am not talking about holding it in and festering with anger, and not showing it.  I am talking about knowing that their behavior has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with their ability, or inability rather, to be appropriate and professional.  They are just not smart enough to know how to treat people right?  I was guilty of that by being a B.  Get it?

No longer do I let people get to me.  Well, maybe sometimes for a minute or so, but then I am over it.

You can do this as well!  I know you can!  You got the power within you!

By not letting people get to you is how you destress yourself.  You do not destress yourself by changing the other person or controlling their behavior, all be it bad behavior.  You destress yourself by changing and mastering your thoughts, feelings, and actions.  That is the school of life, getting better and better at mastering your self-confidence, your happiness, and your success. 

Hopefully, my story has helped you.  If it has or you have a comment or question please post a comment below.

Stay tuned for more of my self therapy with stories.  Be advised, they may get a little gruesome at times.  Oh, your in the EMS, you enjoy that ;0)

Have a great day!  Big Hugs!

Elizabeth

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If you are having difficulty with life, and you would like to create happiness, energy, and vitality take my how to destress yourself course.

Or, you can email me, elizabethstanfill@gmail.com, I would love to hear from you and help you anyway I can.

STRESS

Never was I able to measure the level of stress, or even gauge the level of stress, that has been among others until I started blogging.  My blogging began in 2006, and then seriously in 2007.  It wasn't until 2009 that I was able to measure how many visitors I had in a day, week, or month.  The measurements were only monthly before then.

 

All this babbling is about stress out there in the world.  What I mean is, in the summer of 2009, I had about 500 to 600 readers a month.  In the winter the readers more than doubled, and that just so happens to be my busiest time of the year, destressing people.  By 2010 summer, I had in a week, what I had in followers in a month from 2009 winter.  In the 2010 winter, it doubled, then went back down by the end of April. 

 

By 2011, in the summer, my visitors doubled to what I was experiencing in the busy months of the winter, and the emails doubled as well.  By the winter of 2011, I was experiencing crazy, crazy amounts of readers daily. 

 

What I am trying to explain in all of this blah blah is, I believe because of the number of visitors, and contacts I am experiencing, stress is increasing out there in the world.  For a minute there, I thought things were getting better, over the holidays, because my stats dropped from December 24, 2011 to January 2, 2012, to what was high stats in the 2011 summer.  But, by January 8, 2012, things got back to all time highs again.

 

By January 14, 2012, my post How To Destress Your Deepest Moments of Despair, was viewed 1000 times.  What this means to me is, there are plenty of people out there in their deepest moments of despair.

 

There was a time when I responded to Critical Incidents, and taught stress prevention, intervention, and direction only to the Emergency Personnel, which included EMT's, Firefighters, Paramedics, and Police Officers.  Then it expanded to Management and Administrators. 

 

I can remember my first one on one clients that were not in the Emergency Field, they included men, who were business owners.  Many of them were sent to me by their wives, and the common reaction was, "My wife sent me to see you because if I don't get a handle on my stress then she will divorce me."  No lie!

 

Then I started teaching all kinds of individuals stress relief.

 

Most recently, my contacts have been people who have lost their jobs, homes, and sometimes everything they have, and sometimes even a family member.

 

When October & November 2011 came around, I had an unusual amount of teenagers come to me due to pressures usually at home, but not entirely. 

 

Is the economy in America getting better?  Is the economy in the World getting better?  That is hard to say, but from my stand point, a whole lotta people are trying to relieve stress, that's fo sho!

 

This time of the year is the best time for you, and me, to relieve our stress because it is the New Year, and we can be motivated to start a new.

 

When people are stressed, it is caused by doubt, fear, and worry about their circumstances.  When people are really stressed, they tend to focus on the worst possible outcome.  They think about the worst thing that could happen, over and over, in their mind.  This causes a whole lotta stress.

 

One of the best things we can do, when we think about the worst over and over again, is write down what we want, what we really want.  Write down the best possible outcome you could have in your situation, make them goals, and focus on them.  Focus on them by reading your written list everyday, and making a to do list to move forward on it.  This will destress you by building faith in yourself, and making you focus on the best instead of worst.

 

Another great thing we can do is learn the relaxation response.  The relaxation response will provide a way for you to create a habit of relaxing any time, and any where.  It is a habit we can develop to replace the stress habit.  When we are stressed, the stress response is activated, and if we have a wonderful habit of activating the relaxation response it can, and will, provide a place, in our mind and body, to feel safe and relaxed.

 

If we focus on the best possible outcome, and remain relaxed, the burden of our stress is lightened and we can easily overcome our stress, no matter what we are going through.

 

A great affirmation for when you have stress, you are focusing on the best outcome, and you practice the relaxation response is, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." ~Philippians 4:13

 

Affirmations are just reminders, and this reminder, if you say it to yourself over and over again, will build your faith, and help you succeed.  So memorize it, and say it often, especially when you feel stressed.

 

That's all I got.  You are doing great!  Keep up the excellent work!  Have fun!  Be playful!

 

Love you lots ;0)

 

BIG HUGS...

 

Elizabeth

 

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

 

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

 

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

 

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

 

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

 

;0)

MY OWN STANDARDS

Hello there.  How's it going?  Did you have a most magnificent weekend?  I sho did ;0)  Once again, I fell in love.  Matter of fact, I fell in love a few times.  Dang, I love that, falling in love.  I love love.  Okay, okay, enough about love, again, but you know I can't help it.

 

Got a scripture for you.

 

Matthew 7:3 says, "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beem in thine own eye?"

 

This scripture means, to me, why are you judging, or trying to fix someone else when you could be judged for what you do, or when you got a whole lotta fixen to do in yourself?

 

Mote means a chip or splinter, and a beem is something big that they use in constructing a house or building.  Therefore, whatever you are judging in someone else is much smaller than what you could be judged for.

 

This, my friend is great advice.  Whenever I feel like I want to give someone advice (like in my blog for instance), I know there are at least two things going on for me.  First, I am looking at what I think needs to be fixed in someone else, meaning I am being critical.  Second, I need to give that advice to myself, which means, living up to my own standards.  Practice what I preach!  You know what I mean?

 

When I want to fix someone else, I am looking at their imperfection, rather than looking at their assets.  "Guess what?" I say to myself, "We are all imperfect Elizabeth." 

 

A very stressful habit is focusing on peoples' imperfections.  It is a habit of being critical, when we could just as easily be complimenting.  If we are critical, it shows the mood of our mind.  If the mood of our mind is critical of others, you can bet it is critical of ourselves.  When we are critical of ourselves, we tend to have a very low self-confidence which produces doubt.  Any kind of doubt, fear, or worry will create stress.

 

You know, and I know, we can be our own worst enemies by being critical of, or having doubt in ourselves.  All the decisions we make in this life are based on doubt or certainty.  If we make decisions based on doubt, we miss out on some seriously spectacular goods.  If we make decisions on certainty, we achieve, advance, gain, and obtain.

 

How did being critical become a habit?  Well, I'll tell you.  Most likely, when we were younger, and as we grew up, we could have done a thousand things right all day long with not a word said, and yet, when we did one thing wrong, we were criticized, and then corrected.  So, other peoples' habits became ours.

 

The best thing I can do, when I write a blog post, or help an individual is, take my own advice, and live up to my own standards. 

 

Do I take my own advice?  I sho do!  Eh-em, most of the time.

 

Do I live up to my own standards?  I sho do try, but like I say, to myself, "Nobody is perfect Elizabeth."

 

One of the things I love to do the mostest is, I love, love, love to encourage people.  Even though I am a Destress Yourself Specialist, I would love my title to be a Courage Specialist.  And because I love to encourage others, I spend a lot of time encouraging myself.  I am my own cheerleader. 

 

"You can do it Elizabeth!"  I say to myself. 

 

Encouraging and complimenting others is much better than criticizing or trying to fix them.  Taking my own advice, that I want to give to others, and encouraging myself is much better than criticizing.  Truly, just a simple choice, don't you think?

 

This week, and if I am brave enough, for the weeks to come, I will live up to my own standards by taking my own advice.  Whatever advice I am about to give, I will hush up and give it to myself, in my head of course.  I will focus on peoples' abundance and I will compliment and encourage them.  I will look at my abundance, and I will compliment and encourage myself more.

 

Sounds like a great way to destress myself, wouldn't you agree?

 

Hope you have a glorious week.  You can do it!  LOL!  You are glorious! 

 

How am I doing so far?

 

Have fun!  Be playful!  And, speak soon!

 

Elizabeth

 

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

 

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

 

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

 

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

 

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

 

:D

HAVE FAITH IN YOUR DREAMS!

Hello there!

It is a great year already, I can feel it in my bones, and in my soul.

 

So far, I am doing really good on my New Year Resolutions.  How bout you?

 

My resolutions are...

 

To be healthier and to serve more people in more ways.  That's it!

 

Although, there is a huge list of things I have to do, and want to do, that goes under each of those goals.  My goals are very specific, and so I have a lot of work to do.

 

One thing I know for sure is, I may have a set back or I may mess up a little but you know what?  That is totally okay in my head.  That sounds funny.  Anyway, what I mean is, I will not give up if I have a set back or if I mess up a little, or a lot. 

 

My mantras for my goals are, "I can do this!  I have faith that I can do these things.  I will not give up."

 

I am so focused, it is magnificent, in my head.  ;0)

 

Do you have your goals?  How are you doing?  Do you have faith that you can accomplish your goals?  Do you have the mindset that you WILL NOT give up?

 

In Hebrews 11:1, it says, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

 

Now is the time, more than ever, to have faith in yourself, and your goals.  Now is the time, more than ever, to hope for the things that you want that have not yet come to pass.  Now is the time, more than ever, especially if you want a better you and a better year, to be focused more than ever.

 

You can do it my friend.

 

You can do this!

 

Have faith!

 

Never give up!

 

Say it with me now, "I can do this!  I have faith I can do these things!  I will not give up!"

 

Have a great week.  Have fun and be playful too ;0)

 

Elizabeth

 

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

 

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

 

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

 

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

 

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

 

WHY I AM NOT A THERAPIST!

Hello there.  HAPPY NEW YEAR! Am gonna keep saying that for the whole month.

As we embark on our New Year and become New again, I would like to talk a lil about myself.  How vein!  I know. ~giggle

I love to serve, I love to help, and I love to show people their greatest potential especially when they have never seen it.  I love to bring people from crisis to calm, I love to help people overcome burnout and create happiness, energy, and vitality, and I love to assist people in discovering how to eliminate their stress with permanent stress relief.

I do not love therapists and I do not have a whole lotta confidence in the therapy process.

There are several reasons why I am not a therapist and why I am not a lover of the therapy.  It all began back when I was getting my Masters in Counseling at the Uni.  As I was completing my Masters Program, I was lucky enough to participate in an internship at the Counseling Center at the Uni, and this is what I discovered...

Most people who go to counseling, in my experience, do not want to help themselves.  There are about one in ten that will not take the victim stance and really focus on improving their situation.  That is only 10%.  In addition, I believe with all my heart and soul, that people who go to Counseling are having a hard time with life because they just never learned how to handle the stress of life.  No one taught them how to relieve their stress, and so they get in a place of trouble.

About the victim stance.  What I mean by this is, when someone is having a hard time with life but won't look at themselves and their personal challenges. They tend to blame others and life for their misfortune.  They sometimes get so caught up in their anger, anxiety, and/or depression they cannot, and will not believe they can do anything about it because they believe it is the fault of others, and the faulty world they live in.

Another reason for my reasons is most students who want to become Therapists are really unsound themselves.  It is my humble opinion, and experience, that the students that I knew in school had their own issues to deal with, were still quite adolescent, and usually didn't like themselves or their clients.  How can you help your clients if you are troubled and you don't even like your clients?

Another reason for my reasons is, most teachers that are teaching people to be Therapists are dubious and perplexed.  Now this again is only my opinion.  The sad part about all of this is I use to look up to Professors and thought they were brilliant until I really got to know some of mine during my Masters.  OUCH!  Harsh, I know.

Another reason, most Therapists are unbalanced.  Again, my opinion.  As a student in the Counseling Program, I had to participate in my own counseling for 30 hours.  Lord have mercy, it was not an easy task to find one that didn't have issues.  The really good ones, that were referred, were all booked up, and weren't available for the entire year.

Searching for my own therapist took about thirteen tries.  When I would call the Therapist to make an appointment, I had certain questions that I would ask to make sure they would meet my criteria.  The majority of them got offended or became arrogant like, "How dare you ask me that."  Crazy, huh?

To me, arrogance is ignorance, and getting offended when someone asks you a question is quite adolescent.  It is totally appropriate and professional to ask questions, it is called communicating.

One last thing.  The Uni neglected to tell me, and I failed to find out, that a Therapist makes thousands of dollars less than I was already making.  All though this is a disappointment, totally my fault, money is not the factor in my decision on helping people, it is a good side note though. 

Now, I am not a Therapist just because of the lack of money, I am not a Therapist mostly because I really want to serve and I really want to help people.  If people who come to therapy need ways to relieve stress but don't really want help, I don't see how I can accomplish my mission.  When I am financially strapped, I don't necessarily see how I can progress and help others either. 

This is all my choice, and my opinion.  No offense to the good Therapists out there.  You know who you are.

MY DISCLAIMER...  I do believe that there are good therapists out there, and I do believe that therapy can help, it's just not for me, and the above statement is just me utilizing my freedom of expression of my opinion.

Why am I telling you all of this?  Because I want you to know a lot about me and because what I do is not therapy, it is education.

Moreover, maybe you need help with your situation and I want you to see, if you are having a hard time with life, it may just be that you haven't mastered the art of stress relief.  When you are in the Emergency Field, you can see things that are so abnormally out of the ordinary, your mind may have a very difficult time dealing with, and enduring it.

Additionally, many people who come to me for help take the victim stance, in that they believe that they cannot do anything about their situation because of others' behaviors, and how horrible life is.  If that is true for you, you must know, there are thousands of people that I know of, and probably millions out there, who are doing business with some serious stress and are learning to destress themselves by looking at their own thoughts, feelings, and actions and trading them for more successful ones. 

Their are a couple of people that call or text me, now and again, who take the victim stance, and for the life of me, I want to help them but, like addicted individuals, you can't help someone if they won't let you.  They want their external circumstances to change, and will not change themselves within.  They want to call me and wallow in their misery, instead of doing something about it.  They know everything, they are unwilling to listen to anyone else and their point of view, and they don't want to do anything for their self-improvement.

Sounds like I am complaining.  Maybe I am, maybe I'm not but, what I say is all true, in my opinion ;0)  Being the victim is not bad, it is quite normal, because we all do it, just some do it more than others.  We all do the victim dance in certain circumstances.  I am like that on certain things, and I was one of the worst victims in my past.  Some how, some way, I saw the light, and I am a lot less victimy than I use to be. ~giggle

Those who are willing to help themselves can make a better life.

If you are having a hard time with life, your career, your relationship, or any other aspect of being, and you want it to get better, I invite you to email me, and see what we can do.  I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

If you would like to discover stressful habits that you may have that are holding you back in life, and if you want to create successful practices in your life that will help you develop happiness, energy, and vitality you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

To destress yourself, take the class

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

TAKE THE STRESS TEST

Hello my friend.  Thought you might enjoy a little stress test.

Destress Yourself Audio

This stress survey is designed to help raise awareness to some stressful habits you may have.

This is not a diagnosis tool or a psychology test, it is a survey I developed about nine years ago to help identify stressful behavior. 

Because this survey was not developed via hard research, the stressful habits presented are not in any particular order.  These are THE STRESSFUL HABITS that have been brought to my attention via questionnaire.

This is for adventure, education, and enjoyment.

So, enjoy...

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS BY CHOOSING A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 5. (1)NEVER (2) ALMOST NEVER (3) OCCASIONALLY (4) FREQUENTLY (5) ALL THE TIME

1. Do you feel like you are in a constant state of going nowhere?

2. Do you notice that it is important to you or you spend a lot of energy proving that you are right or things should be done the "right way," your way?

3. Do you set simple goals or continuously tell yourself you are going to do something and don't do it?

4. Do you experience a racing mind?

5. Do you loose your temper or become impatient easily?

6. Are you angry, moody, or irritable?

7. Do you complain about other people, places, or things?

8. Do you worry?

9. Do you get offended easily and/or talk about other people?

10. Do you find yourself walking, talking, or eating fast because you are in a hurry?

11. Do you binge on or are you addicted to a certain activity, food, caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, or any form of pharmaceutical, over the counter, or illegal drug?

12. Do you have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting essential hours of sleep because you can't stop thinking of things you have to do or because you have too much going on in your life?

13. Are you unable to enjoy yourself even when you are doing something you enjoy?

Add up your results...

If you would like to utilize a truth scale, ask someone, who knows you really well, to take this test on your behalf, and then compare answers.

Okay...

1-13 a very destressed person

14-25 almost always destressed

26-38 more often destressed than stressed

39-52 you need to destress yourself

53- 65 you seriously need to destress yourself

If you chose 5 for any of the questions above, you may want to destress that particular habit.

For example, if you answered a 5 on number 6, you may want to overcome and eliminate the very stressful habits of anger, moodiness, and/or irritability.

Have any questions?  Comment below ;)

Hope this is helpful, until next post, don't forget to have fun and be playful!

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D

Happy New Year!!!

Hey there, Happy New Year my fellow Emergency Worker!  It is my hope that you had an easy New Years Eve transition into the New Year.  The reason I say that is when I worked out in the field, I had some seriously busy shifts on the Holidays, especially when I worked around Pasadena because of the Rose Parade.  I remember one year, there were not enough resources, and my partner and I were running calls by ourselves without the Fire Department or PD.  It was exciting and fun, but taxing.

Let's talk about the New Year.

It is my opinion that a good way to start the year for Emergency Personnel, is to evaluate our own stress.  This is a practice I have been implementing for many, many years, for myself, and with others.

One approach to this practice is to notice negative emotions that may be dominant in your life.  For example, if you are frequently angry, bitter, or irritable then you are right smack dab in the middle of stress.

There are three kinds of stress and they are general, cumulative (also known as burnout), and critical.  Any one of these can be acute or chronic. 

General stress is every day stress when you have to deal with a busy, tight schedule, and you are trying to get everything done so that you can make every body happy.  This type of stress may include responsibilities that could drain your energy.

Cumulative stress, also known as Burnout, is when you are exhausted, cynical, and often times very ineffective because of the burn out.

Critical stress is when you have a crisis or a critical incident that affects your ability to function productively within your typical responsibilities. 

All of these types of stress are very common amongst Emergency Responders.

These types of stress' are not necessarily caused by our circumstances, the causes are more from our reactions. 

Examples...

General stress; let's say you are strapped financially.  The finances are not the stress, the reaction of fear of the outcome to the finances cause the stress.

Cumulative stress; let's say you have been exhausted emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually for weeks now.  The exhaustion is not the stress, it is our beliefs, and behaviors, that are causing the exhaustion.  Therefore, the beliefs, and behaviors, are our reactions to our circumstances that are creating the stress.

Critical stress; let's say you had a very gruesome fatality call, and the patient/victim was the same age as someone in your family that is really close to you.  For weeks, the call plays out in your mind, over and over, you have nightmares about it, and you start to have anger, anxiety, depression, or serious apprehension.  The stress is not the call, it is created by the reaction in the mind, and thus the negative emotions.

The best way to explain it is, when we have circumstances that are less than desirable in our life, if we tend to worry, and then think about the worst possible outcome, we cause ourselves stress.  If we tend to focus on the solution, and have faith that there won't be any problems, we cause ourselves comfort.  See the difference?

Many of you already know this, and it may be just a reminder, but what I am trying to say is, if you have negative emotions, it is coming from your thoughts of doubt, fear, or worry.  If you can figure out what you are afraid of, you can change your thoughts into faith.  It's just a thought, and we can choose any thoughts we want.

So, in order to evaluate your stress, notice any negative emotions, figure out what your afraid of in your circumstances, stop thinking about the worst possible outcome, focus on a solution, have faith that you can do the things you need to do, and wallah, you destress yourself.

It is a great way to start the year.  If you need help, overcoming your stress, and creating confidence, certainty, and faith, take my How To Destress Yourself Class, it will help you overcome stressful habits that are causing negative emotions.

Start your New Year out right!

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D

DESTRESS YOUR DIFFICULT TIMES

BREAKING POINT

Hey there.  How are you?  Am having a great week, how bout you?  Hope so ;0)

Have you ever felt like you were at a breaking point?  If you have, you know what it is, and you will know exactly what I am talking about.

A breaking point is an emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual place where you feel like you are going to break.  It is a place that you are so overwhelmed that you feel like you cannot take it anymore.  I have seen this place, I have seen it in my own life, and in many other lives.  Do you know what I am talking about?

When we are at a breaking point, this place, will 'make us' or 'break us'.  This is a place that I have been with hundreds of individuals.  They say that they can't take anymore, and they feel like they are going to break.

The breaking point is usually when you are overwhelmed and everything is in your face.  You think like, oh shizzz, what am I going to do?  You feel like, AAAHHH!  I can't take it anymore.  And then you have to make a decision on what to do. 

Usually, when we are at this point we are thinking of all the things that are wrong, and then we think about the worst possible outcome that can happen for us.  This is major fear, and this is major worry that can cause anxiety.

This can be a very critical point in our life.  This can be a moment, or 6 months, of crisis.

Through the years, I have worked with many individuals who were at this point.  A couple of the people I have worked with are teenagers, who are in a situation at home that is causing severe anxiety, and/or depression.  Some others, I have worked with, are having severe financial difficulties, who have lost everything, and I mean everything tangible.  Additionally, I have worked with people who are emotionally spent due to loneliness, despair, or frustration.

So, if you are at a breaking point, what can you do?

I am so very excited that you asked ;0)

When you are at a breaking point, the first thing you have to do is ask yourself what the heck it is?  What is going on for you right now?  I guarantee it is fear of what might happen and the thought that you will not know how to, or if you can, handle it.  What are you afraid of?  Ask yourself, "What am I afraid of?"

At this point, the best thing to do is pour your heart out to God.  Talk to Him, and tell him what you are afraid of, and what your biggest fears are.  Why do you want to do this?  You want to do this because you are Heavenly Father's child, and He loves you.  You are so very special to Him, and you will feel comfort from this because He wants you to turn to Him so that He can give you comfort.

After you do this, you will feel comfort.

With all my heart, I believe that when we have troubles, I mean really big troubles, it is an opportunity to get closer to God.  Part of the reason He gives us trials is so we can learn to lean on Him more frequently.

In Romans 12:12 it says, " Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;"

Rejoicing in hope means to be happy for your ambitions, aspirations, and dreams.  Patient in tribulation means willing to endure the thing, or things, that is causing your pain and unhappiness.  Continuing instant in prayer means to persist and carry on immediately and urgently in your conversations with God.

Basically, focus on your dreams, be willing to endure the trial that you have been given, and persist, right now, in your conversations with God.

When we are at a breaking point, I truly believe we do the opposite.  We focus on what we don't want, we are impatient, and we want to quit and give up.

My friend, dream big, focus on what you want, be willing to endure your trials, and be constantly in the conversation with God.

You can do this.  You got the power.  You are so very special and you must remind yourself of this in the moment of a breaking point, and the entire time you have the struggle that you are going through.

Get your journal, write down all the things you dream of in your life, and write down all of the evidence, your successes and accomplishments, that remind you that you can have them.

And know this...  You can handle anything you are going through, you can handle anything that comes your way, and you will manage this because you always have overcome your trials in the past.

You are so very capable, you are so very smart, you are so very strong, and you are so very divine.  The thing is, if you are at a breaking point, you may have just forgot all of your divinity.  You are a child of God, and that makes you divine.

You can be, do, and have anything your heart desires, believe in this, and believe in yourself.  Have faith my friend!  God has faith in you!  I have faith in you as well!

If you need help, take the destress yourself class and it will take you through a step by step series of actions to help you explore, discover, and obtain what you want, and show you how you can get it.

That's all I got.

Have fun this weekend.  Be playful!

Big Hugs... AND MERRY CHRISTMAS BABY!!!

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D

Untitled

MY JOURNEY

Hey there.  How the heck are you?  I am very well, thank you very much.

I wanted to show you my journal.  That is a picture of it right there ->

Pretty cool aye?

I just wanted you to know how serious I am about setting and obtaining goals.  It's not just about goals though, it is about being happy, and making things better and better, no matter what you are going through.

Last Tuesday, I wrote about Never Ending Goal Setting, because I believe, with all my heart and soul, that the only way to diligently progress and produce in this life is by constantly setting and obtaining goals, and by an enduring determination to evaluate our development so that we can continue to improve.

People are always complaining and speaking about how hard life is when in actuality, it really isn't that bad or hard.  I hear woman talk about how horrible a commercial is or how devastating someone's behavior is but it is all an illusion.  You know what is devastating?  Loosing your legs, and not being able to walk, or loosing a lung so that you are unable to function actively, not a commercial or someone's behavior.

What I think about these individuals who complain and cry woe is me, all the time, is that they are not learning or moving forward.  When you learn and move forward, you discover that life is not really hard (well sometimes it is ;)), and there isn't anything that you can't handle because you have become stronger and stronger from your challenges.

Trust me on this one ;)

One of the biggest things that has helped me move forward and discover that I can handle anything is my writing.  My writing began in my journals, then I did a lot in college, and now I blog.  My writing is not the best but, you should have read it before I went to college.  I was raised by a Mother who's second language is English, and it really shows in my journals.  It really shows on my blog, as well, but it is a lot better than it was. 

Tangent!  LOL

What I am trying to say is, I have come a long way because of my writing, especially in my journals.  I have set and obtained some serious goals, and I have overcome some serious challenges.  What is so cool is, I can look back at where I was in life, my anxiety, my depression, my alcoholism, or my PTSD, I know how far I have come, and know that I can handle anything.  It is because of this constant goal setting and evaluating of myself that has gotten me where I am now.

No!  I am not a millionaire, yet!  But I am stronger spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.  The only reason I say that is because most people attribute moneys to success when I look at the ability to be happy and still move forward in life, under any circumstance, as being successful.  In order to be happy and still move forward, under any circumstance, one must be strong spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.  The way you get there is learning more from your challenges, having faith in yourself, and having a very strong spiritual relationship with God.

There have been many times in my life when I have been angry, anxious, depressed, and overwhelmed.  Those were my challenges, and I have learned from them primarily through the documentation of my thoughts, feelings, actions, attitudes, and goals.

When I was a young single Mother, I use to have severe anxiety over money.  As I look back, and read my journal entries, I can remember the thoughts and feelings, and I can know, without a doubt, that if I made it through that, I can make it through anything.  This, my friend, is an unbelievable gift that I have taught to hundreds, if not thousands, of people.

In my last post, I wrote that I too would get my journal and start my never ending goal setting process, and I have.  I wrote my goals for 2012, right after I wrote that post.

So, get your journal, take responsibility for your life, get ready to destress yourself for 2012, get back to the basics, start to overcome some amazing challenges, and do it with faith, RIGHT NOW!

Let's do this together.  If you journal, I promise you, you will see some amazing things happen in your life and it won't be just setting and obtaining goals, it is much bigger than that.

You can do this!

You got the power!

You can be, do, and have anything your heart desires in 2012!

Don't you wanna?  I know you do!

Good luck my friend.  Speak soon...

Don't forget!  Have fun!  Be playful!

If you need help through this process of never ending goal setting, the destress yourself class will take you through a step by step series of actions to help you explore, discover, and obtain what you want.

Big Hugs...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D

 

GOT GOALS?

NEVER ENDING GOAL SETTING

Hello!

NEVER ENDING GOAL SETTING!

Did you know that if you don't have goals you are in the constant state of going nowhere?

Did you know that if you are in the constant state of going nowhere, you can cause yourself some stress?

As spiritual, and human, beings, we must move forward to feel good about ourselves. If we do not feel good about ourselves, our self-confidence and self-esteem is very low. If we feel low, we have a void, and we tend to fill that void with very stressful habits like eating, smoking, drinking, inappropriate relationships, or drama.

Do you get up everyday, get ready for work or school, go to work/school, get home, watch TV, eat dinner, watch more TV, go to bed, and do it all over again?  If you do, you are in the constant state of going nowhere.

Life is a learning experience and one of the things we can learn is never ending goal setting.

Whether we have small or large goals we will move forward in life. When we move forward in life we feel good about ourselves.

When we don't have any goals we stay in the constant state of going nowhere and we feel displeased with ourselves. When we feel unfulfilled we feel unhappy. Unhappiness can stress us out. We have a choice, we can stay in the constant state of going nowhere or we can choose never ending goal setting.

Some goals that you may consider are financial, relationship, health, or career. They can be big or small.

If you would like to make more money you can make that a goal.

If you would like to get along better with your spouse or family members you could make that a goal.

If you would like to feel better physically you could make that a goal.

If you are unhappy in your career you could make a goal out of looking for another job.

The best way to set a goal is to think about what you want. Ask yourself, "What do I really want?"

The answer may be to weigh less, or be happier, or to overcome anger, or make more money, or find an eternal companion, or to increase self-awareness, or to serve, or to find passion or purpose.  These are simple wants and yet still goals.

Once you have an idea of what you want you can take steps to obtaining your goal(s).

First, think about the best for yourself.  Dream and imagine what a perfect life would look like.

Second, write your goals down.

Third, prioritize your goals.

Fourth, write down all the things 'to do' to obtain the goal(s).

Fifth, start 'to do!'

Sixth, believe you will obtain them.

Seventh, and final, never give up! 

You can do this!

Staying stagnant in our lives can cause stress because our lives may lack excitement or pleasure. Take time to explore what you really want out of life and move on it. If you move forward only one step at a time you will be that much closer to your goal, by that one step.

Setting goals and obtaining them creates excitement and enthusiasm for life. If we are excited and enthusiastic about life we feel successful and that is what destressing yourself is all about, moving from stress to success.

So, get your journal my friend, and start the never ending goal setting process.  I'm gonna!  Right now!  You can too!

You got the power!  You can do this!

If you need help through this process, the destress yourself class will take you through a step by step series of actions to help you explore, discover, and obtain what you want.

Big Hugs...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D

DESTRESS YOURSELF WITH PRAYER

PRAYER ;)

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.  ~Isaiah 41:10

Hello my friend.  How was your week?  Mine was magnifico, as usual ;) 

I have a friend who says that I am in denial about my stress.  Isn't that cute?  He thinks that because there are certain aspects in my life that are not perfect, that I pretend to be happy.  I do not pretend to be happy.  I am happy about 95% of the time and maybe, sometimes, 99% of the time, and I will tell you why.

No matter what is going on in my life, I am happy because I know without a doubt that my Heavenly Father loves me, that I am very precious to Him, and that He is watching out for me every minute, of every hour, and every hour of every day.

The first thing I do every morning is I pray unto Him.  The last thing I do, every night, is I pray unto Him.  When I feel sad, He is the first person I have a conversation with.  When I am sad, when I feel anxious, and when ever I feel like I don't want to feel, I pour my heart out to Him. 

Every time I pour my heart out to Heavenly Father, I feel comfort almost immediately.

If you are having a hard time I would like to persuade you to pour your heart out unto Him.  You are a child of God, and He loves you, you are so very special to Him.  You are a gift from the Divine.

As I was trying to decide what to blog about for our New Year Resolutions, I thought that I should discuss the most important things that pertain to permanent stress relief, in other words, how to destress yourself.

To me, one of the most important things that we can do is cry unto Heavenly Father when we are stressed, not only will you build a very close relationship with Him, you will find and develop this way of destressing immediately.

Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.  ~ Jeremiah 29:12

What I am trying to do is persuade you to journal and evaluate your frequency of prayer and your relationship with God.  Contemplate this because if you would like to improve upon it, you can make it a New Year Resolution.

If you do, you will certainly destress yourself.

Have a wonderful weekend.  Have fun and don't forget to be playful, I really mean that.

Big Hugs...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D

DESTRESS YOUR LIFE, RIGHT NOW

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY!

Good Mornin...

My friend's daughter asked me if I love Christmas or if I didn't love Christmas.  Cute huh?  I told her that I love Christmas.  She said, me too.  Then she asked me what I loved about Christmas, and I said everything except the gifts.  HA HA HA!

I really do love everything except the gifts.  If it were up to me I would just hang out with family and friends, and no gifts.  Could you imagine if Christmas was about Christ?  Just kidding, I know it is.  But what if we didn't give gifts and we just enjoyed good food and good company?  How destressed we would be!

Any who, recently I talked about getting ready for 2012 and New Year Resolutions.

Did you read about it?  Did you get your journal?  Did you start your journey with your journal by reading and writing about back to the basics post?  If you did, YOU ARE AWESOME!

If you did, YOU ARE TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FUTURE.  So cool!

But, if you didn't, then I would like to persuade you to take responsibility for your future.

Recently, I have been helping more teens than I ever have.  A couple of years ago, I started to work with college age students, lots of 18 and 19 year olds.  Last month, I worked with more teenagers (under 18), than I have in my whole career of teaching permanent stress relief.

They have spoken of molestation, abuse, parental divorce, illness, and misery at home.  The number one issue I have dealt with is beliefs of ugliness and why am I not good enough.  The latter is not so typical as the former never the less, it is all very stressful, wouldn't you agree?

When I talk to the youth about lack of self-confidence due to feeling ugly, or feeling not good enough I tell them stuff like, you are the boss of you, you are the only thinker of your thoughts, and so you gotta be the boss of your thoughts and you gotta think better thoughts.  I tell them to stop thinking that they are not good enough and I teach them affirmations, and how to use them.  An affirmation like, I am good enough!

We search for evidence that they are good enough, and we search for evidence that their beliefs are unreasonable.  For example, I tell them to notice everyone around them for a day, or even a week, and notice how unique everyone is.  Some people are fatter, some people are skinnier, some people are uglier, and some people are prettier.

This is amazing because the majority of them get it.  The majority of them get that they can take responsibility for their thoughts, and that God has made everyone as unique as their thumb print therefore, we can appreciate our uniqueness and focus on our assets and strengths.

Isn't that amazing?

What does this all have to do with destressing yourself?

Destressing yourself is all about awareness, and awareness has a lot to do with knowing that you can take responsibility for your thoughts, knowing that you can take responsibility for your life, knowing that you can take responsibility for your future.

It amazed me how many teens got this.  It even seemed, to me, that teens were getting more than adults do.

What I am trying to say is, you can learn to destress yourself by taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions, as a result you will take responsibility for your life and for your future.

So, get that journal, and start your journey to destress yourself in 2012.

That's all I got! 

Speak soon...

Have fun this week...

Be playful!

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D

DESTRESS YOURSELF 2012

YOU WANNA GET READY TO DESTRESS FOR 2012???

Hello my friend!  How's your week?  I really wanna know how your week is going!  Is it going well?  Is it not going so well?  Let a gril know how your doing ;)

Are you ready for and do you wanna alleviate your stress in 2012? 

Do you have stress at work?

Do you have stress at home?

Do you have anger, anxiety, depression, or loneliness?

Whatever it is, let's prep for destressing ourselves for 2012.  Are you with me?  Let's do it!

LOL!  I sound like a dang cheerleader.

Okay, so we know that the New Year is almost here and every year I encourage everyone to destress by setting goals.  That's right, New Year Resolutions.

If you say that you don't make New Year Resolutions, let me try to change your mind.  PLEASE!!!

New Year Resolutions are the greatest way to turn your life around because you are setting goals and you can start a new.  You can start fresh! 

Most people do not live by goals, which is a crime, in my mind.  If you are not setting and obtaining goals, you are in the constant state of going nowhere, and that, my friend, is stressful.

We are spiritual and human beings who need to progress to feel good about ourselves.  When we set and obtain goals we lift our self-confidence and self-esteem.  When we have great confidence, we don't carry doubt, fear, or worry.

Trust me!  I know that this is so.  I know that this is so because most people who are stressed have horrible habits of thinking thoughts full of doubt, fear, and worry and the best way to get away from this way of thinking is to set a goal.

You wanna do it?  You wanna prep yourself to destress in 2012?  If you are with me...

This is your first assignment for prepping yourself to destress in 2012...

Get a journal.  It doesn't have to be anything fancy, it could be a blank pad of paper.  The reason you need a journal is because I am going to give you exercises to explore your way of living that may be causing you stress so that you, and I (because we are going to do this together), can make some serious goals slash New Year Resolutions to destress in 2012. 

Just a side note.  If you do not journal, you are doing yourself and your future relatives a disservice.  I have been journaling since I was in elementary school.  There are so many benefits to journaling.  The number one benefit, in my eyes, is you can see how far you have come over the years and how much you have grown as an individual.  Another benefit is, when you go through hard times, if you journal, when you look back at those times, you can see how strong you were and how well you handled yourself.  This is so important because when we succeed through hard times it strengthens us to know that we truly can handle anything.

Okay, enough of that.

Start your journey, with your journal, by reading and evaluating the basics I wrote about in my last post.

So get a journal, read and evaluate the basics from my last post, and write about what you have discovered in your new journal.  That's it!

Speak soon...

Have fun and be playful, in the mean time.

Hugs...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D