Hello my fellow emergency worker. How are you this wonderful wonderful day? I am super duper, the weather is great, the family is healthy, and I am happy.
Well, I am ready to talk. I have been in the Emergency field for 20 years now and I got some serious stories. Stories as a young EMT, stories as an FTO (Field Training Officer), stories as a 911 Operations Supervisor, stories as a CISM (Critical Incident Stress Management) Peer Counselor, and stories as the CISM Coordinator for the Southern Pacific Region of the largest ambulance company in the United States.
Maybe you have noticed, I have only shared a few personal stories like 'MY FIRST TRAUMA AS AN EMT', 'MY CRITICAL INCIDENT AS AN EMT', and I discussed my very first psycho partner in the post, 'EMT STRESS FROM YOUR PARTNER'. The reason I haven't wrote about my personal experiences so much is because I am very very reluctant. I have a lot in my head, and I know that it affects me daily because I specialize in stress. When you specialize in stress, you learn to relax, and that relaxed state provides a quiet mind, and a very aware mind of what you are thinking.
Boy do I have memories! As I was meditating, I realized that I need to get these stories out of my head and onto paper, blog in this case. I believe that it will be therapeutic for me, and I believe it could really help some of you out there who are having stress. So, I wanna talk.
When I first started as an EMT, I worked at what everyone thought was a very prestigious company. I was very honored to work there because many of my friends tried to apply, they couldn't get in, and I did. It was a solemn declaration that I was very fortunate.
At the time I was hired, there weren't any other females. Within my first three to six months, I was sexually harassed, physically threatened, and verbally hazed. Because I am an advocate for not taking any BS, and I grew up with all brothers who instilled in my mind to defend myself, there were a couple of people who suffered their own consequences by loosing their job. This was not a very good way to begin my career and I was affected by it for the next couple of years. Meaning, life was not easy with some individuals. But, I survived! MWA HA HA! ;0)
There were a few individuals who were very kind to me. Some knew what was going on, and they went out of their way to make me feel welcome at work.
Pretty crazy, eh? All of this 'stuff' I went through really enhanced my B*tch qualities.
Looking back, what I learned is, I am one tough cookie who could handle a whole lotta lotta. We are talking about working in a not so easy environment sometimes. Although I was on an ambulance with a partner, who may have been really cool, depending on who it was, I still had to go to the stations and accept the way I would be received.
I am so very grateful for this experience because it taught me a lot about myself. I learned that I could go through the appropriate channels, although it did not sit well with some supervisors, and get results when dealing with inappropriate behavior. It taught me that not only do we have stress running calls on a busy day, but we also have a lot of stress in the work environment. It taught me the beginning steps, and gave me glimpses on how to handle stress in the work place. It also taught me to help others who had similar situations.
What I wish I would have done differently? I wish I would have been less angry, and I wish I had not been such a B*tch at this time in my life.
How could I have done it differently? I could have learned to not let things get to me so easily, and I could have learned to manage my anger better. If I was more easy going and less angry, I would have enjoyed me more, I would have had better quality relationships, and I wouldn't have gotten so burned out so easily.
Anger and unkindness, towards yourself and others, is a very big part of burnout.
For all of you out there who are having a hard time because of your environment at work, there is a better way. There is a way that we can not let others get to us, and there is a way that we can enjoy life even though others are so unkind they are making our surroundings unpleasant.
One of the most important things is to work on your own way of reacting. We can react in better ways, we can overcome anger, and we can overcome unkindness. When people are being unkind, we don't like it, and so why would we be unkind in turn? Wouldn't that make us just like them? That would be becoming what we don't like, right?
We can become more understanding to people's crazy crazy inappropriate behavior, recognize that they are inappropriate, and approach them with professional appropriate communication. Never alone, by the way. Always have a witness who is aware of the situation.
The first step to any conflict is to discuss it with the person. If that doesn't work, you go through the appropriate channels. Many of you will say, or think, ya right! That's not how things are done, we do not snitch. Ya well, if you don't take care of it others may not ever become aware, and the behavior may never stop.
Lastly, one of life's greatest lessons is, learn to not let people get to you. Now I am not talking about holding it in and festering with anger, and not showing it. I am talking about knowing that their behavior has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with their ability, or inability rather, to be appropriate and professional. They are just not smart enough to know how to treat people right? I was guilty of that by being a B. Get it?
No longer do I let people get to me. Well, maybe sometimes for a minute or so, but then I am over it.
You can do this as well! I know you can! You got the power within you!
By not letting people get to you is how you destress yourself. You do not destress yourself by changing the other person or controlling their behavior, all be it bad behavior. You destress yourself by changing and mastering your thoughts, feelings, and actions. That is the school of life, getting better and better at mastering your self-confidence, your happiness, and your success.
Hopefully, my story has helped you. If it has or you have a comment or question please post a comment below.
Stay tuned for more of my self therapy with stories. Be advised, they may get a little gruesome at times. Oh, your in the EMS, you enjoy that ;0)
Have a great day! Big Hugs!
Elizabeth
email me, elizabethstanfill@gmail.com, I would love to hear from you and help you anyway I can.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
STRESS
Never was I able to measure the level of stress, or even gauge the level of stress, that has been among others until I started blogging. My blogging began in 2006, and then seriously in 2007. It wasn't until 2009 that I was able to measure how many visitors I had in a day, week, or month. The measurements were only monthly before then.
All this babbling is about stress out there in the world. What I mean is, in the summer of 2009, I had about 500 to 600 readers a month. In the winter the readers more than doubled, and that just so happens to be my busiest time of the year, destressing people. By 2010 summer, I had in a week, what I had in followers in a month from 2009 winter. In the 2010 winter, it doubled, then went back down by the end of April.
By 2011, in the summer, my visitors doubled to what I was experiencing in the busy months of the winter, and the emails doubled as well. By the winter of 2011, I was experiencing crazy, crazy amounts of readers daily.
What I am trying to explain in all of this blah blah is, I believe because of the number of visitors, and contacts I am experiencing, stress is increasing out there in the world. For a minute there, I thought things were getting better, over the holidays, because my stats dropped from December 24, 2011 to January 2, 2012, to what was high stats in the 2011 summer. But, by January 8, 2012, things got back to all time highs again.
By January 14, 2012, my post How To Destress Your Deepest Moments of Despair, was viewed 1000 times. What this means to me is, there are plenty of people out there in their deepest moments of despair.
There was a time when I responded to Critical Incidents, and taught stress prevention, intervention, and direction only to the Emergency Personnel, which included EMT's, Firefighters, Paramedics, and Police Officers. Then it expanded to Management and Administrators.
I can remember my first one on one clients that were not in the Emergency Field, they included men, who were business owners. Many of them were sent to me by their wives, and the common reaction was, "My wife sent me to see you because if I don't get a handle on my stress then she will divorce me." No lie!
Then I started teaching all kinds of individuals stress relief.
Most recently, my contacts have been people who have lost their jobs, homes, and sometimes everything they have, and sometimes even a family member.
When October & November 2011 came around, I had an unusual amount of teenagers come to me due to pressures usually at home, but not entirely.
Is the economy in America getting better? Is the economy in the World getting better? That is hard to say, but from my stand point, a whole lotta people are trying to relieve stress, that's fo sho!
This time of the year is the best time for you, and me, to relieve our stress because it is the New Year, and we can be motivated to start a new.
When people are stressed, it is caused by doubt, fear, and worry about their circumstances. When people are really stressed, they tend to focus on the worst possible outcome. They think about the worst thing that could happen, over and over, in their mind. This causes a whole lotta stress.
One of the best things we can do, when we think about the worst over and over again, is write down what we want, what we really want. Write down the best possible outcome you could have in your situation, make them goals, and focus on them. Focus on them by reading your written list everyday, and making a to do list to move forward on it. This will destress you by building faith in yourself, and making you focus on the best instead of worst.
Another great thing we can do is learn the relaxation response. The relaxation response will provide a way for you to create a habit of relaxing any time, and any where. It is a habit we can develop to replace the stress habit. When we are stressed, the stress response is activated, and if we have a wonderful habit of activating the relaxation response it can, and will, provide a place, in our mind and body, to feel safe and relaxed.
If we focus on the best possible outcome, and remain relaxed, the burden of our stress is lightened and we can easily overcome our stress, no matter what we are going through.
A great affirmation for when you have stress, you are focusing on the best outcome, and you practice the relaxation response is, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." ~Philippians 4:13
Affirmations are just reminders, and this reminder, if you say it to yourself over and over again, will build your faith, and help you succeed. So memorize it, and say it often, especially when you feel stressed.
That's all I got. You are doing great! Keep up the excellent work! Have fun! Be playful!
Love you lots ;0)
BIG HUGS...
Elizabeth
Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.
If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.
elizabethstanfill@gmail.com
;0)
All this babbling is about stress out there in the world. What I mean is, in the summer of 2009, I had about 500 to 600 readers a month. In the winter the readers more than doubled, and that just so happens to be my busiest time of the year, destressing people. By 2010 summer, I had in a week, what I had in followers in a month from 2009 winter. In the 2010 winter, it doubled, then went back down by the end of April.
By 2011, in the summer, my visitors doubled to what I was experiencing in the busy months of the winter, and the emails doubled as well. By the winter of 2011, I was experiencing crazy, crazy amounts of readers daily.
What I am trying to explain in all of this blah blah is, I believe because of the number of visitors, and contacts I am experiencing, stress is increasing out there in the world. For a minute there, I thought things were getting better, over the holidays, because my stats dropped from December 24, 2011 to January 2, 2012, to what was high stats in the 2011 summer. But, by January 8, 2012, things got back to all time highs again.
By January 14, 2012, my post How To Destress Your Deepest Moments of Despair, was viewed 1000 times. What this means to me is, there are plenty of people out there in their deepest moments of despair.
There was a time when I responded to Critical Incidents, and taught stress prevention, intervention, and direction only to the Emergency Personnel, which included EMT's, Firefighters, Paramedics, and Police Officers. Then it expanded to Management and Administrators.
I can remember my first one on one clients that were not in the Emergency Field, they included men, who were business owners. Many of them were sent to me by their wives, and the common reaction was, "My wife sent me to see you because if I don't get a handle on my stress then she will divorce me." No lie!
Then I started teaching all kinds of individuals stress relief.
Most recently, my contacts have been people who have lost their jobs, homes, and sometimes everything they have, and sometimes even a family member.
When October & November 2011 came around, I had an unusual amount of teenagers come to me due to pressures usually at home, but not entirely.
Is the economy in America getting better? Is the economy in the World getting better? That is hard to say, but from my stand point, a whole lotta people are trying to relieve stress, that's fo sho!
This time of the year is the best time for you, and me, to relieve our stress because it is the New Year, and we can be motivated to start a new.
When people are stressed, it is caused by doubt, fear, and worry about their circumstances. When people are really stressed, they tend to focus on the worst possible outcome. They think about the worst thing that could happen, over and over, in their mind. This causes a whole lotta stress.
One of the best things we can do, when we think about the worst over and over again, is write down what we want, what we really want. Write down the best possible outcome you could have in your situation, make them goals, and focus on them. Focus on them by reading your written list everyday, and making a to do list to move forward on it. This will destress you by building faith in yourself, and making you focus on the best instead of worst.
Another great thing we can do is learn the relaxation response. The relaxation response will provide a way for you to create a habit of relaxing any time, and any where. It is a habit we can develop to replace the stress habit. When we are stressed, the stress response is activated, and if we have a wonderful habit of activating the relaxation response it can, and will, provide a place, in our mind and body, to feel safe and relaxed.
If we focus on the best possible outcome, and remain relaxed, the burden of our stress is lightened and we can easily overcome our stress, no matter what we are going through.
A great affirmation for when you have stress, you are focusing on the best outcome, and you practice the relaxation response is, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." ~Philippians 4:13
Affirmations are just reminders, and this reminder, if you say it to yourself over and over again, will build your faith, and help you succeed. So memorize it, and say it often, especially when you feel stressed.
That's all I got. You are doing great! Keep up the excellent work! Have fun! Be playful!
Love you lots ;0)
BIG HUGS...
Elizabeth
Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.
If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.
elizabethstanfill@gmail.com
;0)
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
MY OWN STANDARDS
Hello there. How's it going? Did you have a most magnificent weekend? I sho did ;0) Once again, I fell in love. Matter of fact, I fell in love a few times. Dang, I love that, falling in love. I love love. Okay, okay, enough about love, again, but you know I can't help it.
Got a scripture for you.
Matthew 7:3 says, "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beem in thine own eye?"
This scripture means, to me, why are you judging, or trying to fix someone else when you could be judged for what you do, or when you got a whole lotta fixen to do in yourself?
Mote means a chip or splinter, and a beem is something big that they use in constructing a house or building. Therefore, whatever you are judging in someone else is much smaller than what you could be judged for.
This, my friend is great advice. Whenever I feel like I want to give someone advice (like in my blog for instance), I know there are at least two things going on for me. First, I am looking at what I think needs to be fixed in someone else, meaning I am being critical. Second, I need to give that advice to myself, which means, living up to my own standards. Practice what I preach! You know what I mean?
When I want to fix someone else, I am looking at their imperfection, rather than looking at their assets. "Guess what?" I say to myself, "We are all imperfect Elizabeth."
A very stressful habit is focusing on peoples' imperfections. It is a habit of being critical, when we could just as easily be complimenting. If we are critical, it shows the mood of our mind. If the mood of our mind is critical of others, you can bet it is critical of ourselves. When we are critical of ourselves, we tend to have a very low self-confidence which produces doubt. Any kind of doubt, fear, or worry will create stress.
You know, and I know, we can be our own worst enemies by being critical of, or having doubt in ourselves. All the decisions we make in this life are based on doubt or certainty. If we make decisions based on doubt, we miss out on some seriously spectacular goods. If we make decisions on certainty, we achieve, advance, gain, and obtain.
How did being critical become a habit? Well, I'll tell you. Most likely, when we were younger, and as we grew up, we could have done a thousand things right all day long with not a word said, and yet, when we did one thing wrong, we were criticized, and then corrected. So, other peoples' habits became ours.
The best thing I can do, when I write a blog post, or help an individual is, take my own advice, and live up to my own standards.
Do I take my own advice? I sho do! Eh-em, most of the time.
Do I live up to my own standards? I sho do try, but like I say, to myself, "Nobody is perfect Elizabeth."
One of the things I love to do the mostest is, I love, love, love to encourage people. Even though I am a Destress Yourself Specialist, I would love my title to be a Courage Specialist. And because I love to encourage others, I spend a lot of time encouraging myself. I am my own cheerleader.
"You can do it Elizabeth!" I say to myself.
Encouraging and complimenting others is much better than criticizing or trying to fix them. Taking my own advice, that I want to give to others, and encouraging myself is much better than criticizing. Truly, just a simple choice, don't you think?
This week, and if I am brave enough, for the weeks to come, I will live up to my own standards by taking my own advice. Whatever advice I am about to give, I will hush up and give it to myself, in my head of course. I will focus on peoples' abundance and I will compliment and encourage them. I will look at my abundance, and I will compliment and encourage myself more.
Sounds like a great way to destress myself, wouldn't you agree?
Hope you have a glorious week. You can do it! LOL! You are glorious!
How am I doing so far?
Have fun! Be playful! And, speak soon!
Elizabeth
Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.
If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.
elizabethstanfill@gmail.com
:D
Got a scripture for you.
Matthew 7:3 says, "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beem in thine own eye?"
This scripture means, to me, why are you judging, or trying to fix someone else when you could be judged for what you do, or when you got a whole lotta fixen to do in yourself?
Mote means a chip or splinter, and a beem is something big that they use in constructing a house or building. Therefore, whatever you are judging in someone else is much smaller than what you could be judged for.
This, my friend is great advice. Whenever I feel like I want to give someone advice (like in my blog for instance), I know there are at least two things going on for me. First, I am looking at what I think needs to be fixed in someone else, meaning I am being critical. Second, I need to give that advice to myself, which means, living up to my own standards. Practice what I preach! You know what I mean?
When I want to fix someone else, I am looking at their imperfection, rather than looking at their assets. "Guess what?" I say to myself, "We are all imperfect Elizabeth."
A very stressful habit is focusing on peoples' imperfections. It is a habit of being critical, when we could just as easily be complimenting. If we are critical, it shows the mood of our mind. If the mood of our mind is critical of others, you can bet it is critical of ourselves. When we are critical of ourselves, we tend to have a very low self-confidence which produces doubt. Any kind of doubt, fear, or worry will create stress.
You know, and I know, we can be our own worst enemies by being critical of, or having doubt in ourselves. All the decisions we make in this life are based on doubt or certainty. If we make decisions based on doubt, we miss out on some seriously spectacular goods. If we make decisions on certainty, we achieve, advance, gain, and obtain.
How did being critical become a habit? Well, I'll tell you. Most likely, when we were younger, and as we grew up, we could have done a thousand things right all day long with not a word said, and yet, when we did one thing wrong, we were criticized, and then corrected. So, other peoples' habits became ours.
The best thing I can do, when I write a blog post, or help an individual is, take my own advice, and live up to my own standards.
Do I take my own advice? I sho do! Eh-em, most of the time.
Do I live up to my own standards? I sho do try, but like I say, to myself, "Nobody is perfect Elizabeth."
One of the things I love to do the mostest is, I love, love, love to encourage people. Even though I am a Destress Yourself Specialist, I would love my title to be a Courage Specialist. And because I love to encourage others, I spend a lot of time encouraging myself. I am my own cheerleader.
"You can do it Elizabeth!" I say to myself.
Encouraging and complimenting others is much better than criticizing or trying to fix them. Taking my own advice, that I want to give to others, and encouraging myself is much better than criticizing. Truly, just a simple choice, don't you think?
This week, and if I am brave enough, for the weeks to come, I will live up to my own standards by taking my own advice. Whatever advice I am about to give, I will hush up and give it to myself, in my head of course. I will focus on peoples' abundance and I will compliment and encourage them. I will look at my abundance, and I will compliment and encourage myself more.
Sounds like a great way to destress myself, wouldn't you agree?
Hope you have a glorious week. You can do it! LOL! You are glorious!
How am I doing so far?
Have fun! Be playful! And, speak soon!
Elizabeth
Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.
If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.
elizabethstanfill@gmail.com
:D
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