HAVE FAITH IN YOUR DREAMS!

Hello there!

It is a great year already, I can feel it in my bones, and in my soul.

So far, I am doing really good on my New Year Resolutions.  How bout you?

My resolutions are...

To be healthier and to serve more people in more ways.  That's it!

Although, there is a huge list of things I have to do, and want to do, that goes under each of those goals.  My goals are very specific, and so I have a lot of work to do.

One thing I know for sure is, I may have a set back or I may mess up a little but you know what?  That is totally okay in my head.  That sounds funny.  Anyway, what I mean is, I will not give up if I have a set back or if I mess up a little, or a lot.

My mantras for my goals are, "I can do this!  I have faith that I can do these things.  I will not give up."

I am so focused, it is magnificent, in my head.  ;0)

Do you have your goals?  How are you doing?  Do you have faith that you can accomplish your goals?  Do you have the mindset that you WILL NOT give up?

In Hebrews 11:1, it says, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Now is the time, more than ever, to have faith in yourself, and your goals.  Now is the time, more than ever, to hope for the things that you want that have not yet come to pass.  Now is the time, more than ever, especially if you want a better you and a better year, to be focused more than ever.

You can do it my friend.

You can do this!

Have faith!

Never give up!

Say it with me now, "I can do this!  I have faith I can do these things!  I will not give up!"

Have a great week.  Have fun and be playful too ;0)

Elizabeth

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If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

WHY I AM NOT A THERAPIST!

Hello there.  HAPPY NEW YEAR! Am gonna keep saying that for the whole month.

As we embark on our New Year and become New again, I would like to talk a lil about myself.  How vein!  I know. ~giggle

I love to serve, I love to help, and I love to show people their greatest potential especially when they have never seen it.  I love to bring people from crisis to calm, I love to help people overcome burnout and create happiness, energy, and vitality, and I love to assist people in discovering how to eliminate their stress with permanent stress relief.

I do not love therapists and I do not have a whole lotta confidence in the therapy process.

There are several reasons why I am not a therapist and why I am not a lover of the therapy.  It all began back when I was getting my Masters in Counseling at the Uni.  As I was completing my Masters Program, I was lucky enough to participate in an internship at the Counseling Center at the Uni, and this is what I discovered...

Most people who go to counseling, in my experience, do not want to help themselves.  There are about one in ten that will not take the victim stance and really focus on improving their situation.  That is only 10%.  In addition, I believe with all my heart and soul, that people who go to Counseling are having a hard time with life because they just never learned how to handle the stress of life.  No one taught them how to relieve their stress, and so they get in a place of trouble.

About the victim stance.  What I mean by this is, when someone is having a hard time with life but won't look at themselves and their personal challenges. They tend to blame others and life for their misfortune.  They sometimes get so caught up in their anger, anxiety, and/or depression they cannot, and will not believe they can do anything about it because they believe it is the fault of others, and the faulty world they live in.

Another reason for my reasons is most students who want to become Therapists are really unsound themselves.  It is my humble opinion, and experience, that the students that I knew in school had their own issues to deal with, were still quite adolescent, and usually didn't like themselves or their clients.  How can you help your clients if you are troubled and you don't even like your clients?

Another reason for my reasons is, most teachers that are teaching people to be Therapists are dubious and perplexed.  Now this again is only my opinion.  The sad part about all of this is I use to look up to Professors and thought they were brilliant until I really got to know some of mine during my Masters.  OUCH!  Harsh, I know.

Another reason, most Therapists are unbalanced.  Again, my opinion.  As a student in the Counseling Program, I had to participate in my own counseling for 30 hours.  Lord have mercy, it was not an easy task to find one that didn't have issues.  The really good ones, that were referred, were all booked up, and weren't available for the entire year.

Searching for my own therapist took about thirteen tries.  When I would call the Therapist to make an appointment, I had certain questions that I would ask to make sure they would meet my criteria.  The majority of them got offended or became arrogant like, "How dare you ask me that."  Crazy, huh?

To me, arrogance is ignorance, and getting offended when someone asks you a question is quite adolescent.  It is totally appropriate and professional to ask questions, it is called communicating.

One last thing.  The Uni neglected to tell me, and I failed to find out, that a Therapist makes thousands of dollars less than I was already making.  All though this is a disappointment, totally my fault, money is not the factor in my decision on helping people, it is a good side note though. 

Now, I am not a Therapist just because of the lack of money, I am not a Therapist mostly because I really want to serve and I really want to help people.  If people who come to therapy need ways to relieve stress but don't really want help, I don't see how I can accomplish my mission.  When I am financially strapped, I don't necessarily see how I can progress and help others either. 

This is all my choice, and my opinion.  No offense to the good Therapists out there.  You know who you are.

MY DISCLAIMER...  I do believe that there are good therapists out there, and I do believe that therapy can help, it's just not for me, and the above statement is just me utilizing my freedom of expression of my opinion.

Why am I telling you all of this?  Because I want you to know a lot about me and because what I do is not therapy, it is education.

Moreover, maybe you need help with your situation and I want you to see, if you are having a hard time with life, it may just be that you haven't mastered the art of stress relief.  When you are in the Emergency Field, you can see things that are so abnormally out of the ordinary, your mind may have a very difficult time dealing with, and enduring it.

Additionally, many people who come to me for help take the victim stance, in that they believe that they cannot do anything about their situation because of others' behaviors, and how horrible life is.  If that is true for you, you must know, there are thousands of people that I know of, and probably millions out there, who are doing business with some serious stress and are learning to destress themselves by looking at their own thoughts, feelings, and actions and trading them for more successful ones. 

Their are a couple of people that call or text me, now and again, who take the victim stance, and for the life of me, I want to help them but, like addicted individuals, you can't help someone if they won't let you.  They want their external circumstances to change, and will not change themselves within.  They want to call me and wallow in their misery, instead of doing something about it.  They know everything, they are unwilling to listen to anyone else and their point of view, and they don't want to do anything for their self-improvement.

Sounds like I am complaining.  Maybe I am, maybe I'm not but, what I say is all true, in my opinion ;0)  Being the victim is not bad, it is quite normal, because we all do it, just some do it more than others.  We all do the victim dance in certain circumstances.  I am like that on certain things, and I was one of the worst victims in my past.  Some how, some way, I saw the light, and I am a lot less victimy than I use to be. ~giggle

Those who are willing to help themselves can make a better life.

If you are having a hard time with life, your career, your relationship, or any other aspect of being, and you want it to get better, I invite you to email me, and see what we can do.  I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Elizabeth

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Happy New Year!!!

Hey there, Happy New Year my fellow Emergency Worker!  It is my hope that you had an easy New Years Eve transition into the New Year.  The reason I say that is when I worked out in the field, I had some seriously busy shifts on the Holidays, especially when I worked around Pasadena because of the Rose Parade.  I remember one year, there were not enough resources, and my partner and I were running calls by ourselves without the Fire Department or PD.  It was exciting and fun, but taxing.

Let's talk about the New Year.

It is my opinion that a good way to start the year for Emergency Personnel, is to evaluate our own stress.  This is a practice I have been implementing for many, many years, for myself, and with others.

One approach to this practice is to notice negative emotions that may be dominant in your life.  For example, if you are frequently angry, bitter, or irritable then you are right smack dab in the middle of stress.

There are three kinds of stress and they are general, cumulative (also known as burnout), and critical.  Any one of these can be acute or chronic. 

General stress is every day stress when you have to deal with a busy, tight schedule, and you are trying to get everything done so that you can make every body happy.  This type of stress may include responsibilities that could drain your energy.

Cumulative stress, also known as Burnout, is when you are exhausted, cynical, and often times very ineffective because of the burn out.

Critical stress is when you have a crisis or a critical incident that affects your ability to function productively within your typical responsibilities. 

All of these types of stress are very common amongst Emergency Responders.

These types of stress' are not necessarily caused by our circumstances, the causes are more from our reactions. 

Examples...

General stress; let's say you are strapped financially.  The finances are not the stress, the reaction of fear of the outcome to the finances cause the stress.

Cumulative stress; let's say you have been exhausted emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually for weeks now.  The exhaustion is not the stress, it is our beliefs, and behaviors, that are causing the exhaustion.  Therefore, the beliefs, and behaviors, are our reactions to our circumstances that are creating the stress.

Critical stress; let's say you had a very gruesome fatality call, and the patient/victim was the same age as someone in your family that is really close to you.  For weeks, the call plays out in your mind, over and over, you have nightmares about it, and you start to have anger, anxiety, depression, or serious apprehension.  The stress is not the call, it is created by the reaction in the mind, and thus the negative emotions.

The best way to explain it is, when we have circumstances that are less than desirable in our life, if we tend to worry, and then think about the worst possible outcome, we cause ourselves stress.  If we tend to focus on the solution, and have faith that there won't be any problems, we cause ourselves comfort.  See the difference?

Many of you already know this, and it may be just a reminder, but what I am trying to say is, if you have negative emotions, it is coming from your thoughts of doubt, fear, or worry.  If you can figure out what you are afraid of, you can change your thoughts into faith.  It's just a thought, and we can choose any thoughts we want.

So, in order to evaluate your stress, notice any negative emotions, figure out what your afraid of in your circumstances, stop thinking about the worst possible outcome, focus on a solution, have faith that you can do the things you need to do, and wallah, you destress yourself.

It is a great way to start the year.  If you need help, overcoming your stress, and creating confidence, certainty, and faith, take my How To Destress Yourself Class, it will help you overcome stressful habits that are causing negative emotions.

Start your New Year out right!

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D