HOW ARE YOU DOING ON YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

Hey there, how are you?  Happy Monday!

How are you doing on your New Year's Resolutions? 

Well, it is the end of January, and many people give up on there New Year's Resolution by now.  But, I am here to tell you to NEVER GIVE UP!  CONTINUE THE GOAL!

Obviously, if you made the New Year's Resolution, whatever it is, it is important for you to accomplish.

So...  When you fall back a lil just start a new.  Like, if you are dieting, and you eat something that is not on your plan, start all over again.  That's what we gotta do you know?

Never ending goal setting is never giving up.  I know people who are struggling with smoking, drinking, eating, anxiety, depression, anger, and all sorts of stressful habits and we all fall back but we just have to be our own cheerleader and pep talk ourselves back into the game.

When we mess up, we may have the tendency to beat ourselves up and say, "I will never be able to stop smoking, stop drinking, loose weight, control my anxiety, overcome my depression, or manage my anger." 

When we beat ourselves up, we feel bad, and we diminish our faith in our ability to do it.

A couple things that we can do to increase our chances to obtain our goals are one, we can NOT beat ourselves up and be more encouraging.  It's a choice you know?  We can choose to beat ourselves up or we can choose to cheer ourselves on.  Choose to cheer yourself on, tell yourself, "you can do this!"  "I have faith that I can do this."

Even if you don't believe it, say it until you do, and you will be glad you did.  You will create a habit of faith because you will see the results.

Okay, the second thing you can do to help is to create a reminder, an affirmation.  For example, if you want to loose weight, you can create a statement, an affirmation, like, "I am loosing weight."  Or, "I am getting lighter as I eat healthier." 

Read my post on Creating Affirmations, so that you can have a statement to remind yourself on what you are working towards. 

To a lot of people, creating affirmations will sound silly because it is silly.  It's silly but it works, and you will laugh at yourself on several occasions when you say it.  Life is suppose to be fun anyway, so why not make this process of change fun? 

By the way, when we make the statements like, "I can't do this."  Or, "I'll never be able to do this."  You are telling yourself you can't so, why not tell yourself you can with an affirmation.

Your affirmation can simply be, I can stop smoking, or I can stop drinking, or I can loose weight, or I can control my anxiety, or I can overcome my depression, or I can manage my anger. 

YOU CAN DO IT, I KNOW YOU CAN, YOU GOT THE POWER!!!

Any who...  Have a great week, and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

THE POWER OF PATIENCE

The Power of Patience, is the first book in my Bibliotherapy Series.  This book is a must!!!  For several reasons...

#1  It is a feel good book, and I love a good feel good book.  If you are depressed or anxious and you read a good feel good book you will be in a better place emotionally, for a while anyway.  That is probably why I read so many good books, to just be in a good place emotionally.

#2  "Only by cultivating the patience within can you find the ultimate antidote to stress."  This is a quote from the book, which I absolutely love and totally agree with.  And after reading this book you will be destressed.

#3  It has several stories that you, and I, can relate to as far as our impatience like when we are in a line waiting, or with our children, or with other people.  These stories help us remember what patience can do for us emotionally.  Meaning, eliminating the unnecessary anger and irritability.

#4  You will love this Author.  M.J. Ryan shares her personal stories with her personal struggles with impatience, and the lessons she learns.

#5  Just reading this book will remind you how beneficial it is to be patient.  It is my belief that we all know that we will benefit by being patience and yet we forget so easily in the midst of our hurry up disease, lol.

#6  The Author discusses how patience creates excellence, helps us make better decisions, helps us waste less time, energy, and money, and how it eliminates anger.

#7  And... the best reason of all, the book provides exercises and techniques for practicing patience.

I love this book...  It was worth every penny, and it will find a place in my library.

Have a great weekend, you all!!!

Try to be patient, he he he, because it will help you destress yourself.

And... don't forget to have fun and be playful.

BIG HUGS!!!

Elizabeth

BIBLIOTHERAPY

Hey hey everyone!!!

My nother New Year's Resolution is sharing my Bibliotherapy on my blog.  I read a book, or two, a week, and I read psychology books, self-help books, and feel good books.  These books I read are my therapy, bibliotherapy, and they lift my soul, make me feel good, and increase my ever happiness.

Reading is a healing experience and I want to share this experience with you, and help you heal.

With that said, my first book, that I will be sharing is 'THE POWER OF PATIENTS' by M. J. RYAN.

If you would like to read it with me here it is

<br /> <img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/s/noscript?tag=destressyours-20" alt="" /><br />

Have a great day and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

DID YOU PICK YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR 2011?

Hey Kiddies, lol. 

So, did you pick your New Year's Resolutions?

I did!  I do, every year.  But before I tell you what one of them is, I would like to ESPLAIN SOMSING first.

The other night, when my son and I were saying family prayer... (Yes, we pray together.  Haven't you heard, the family that prays together, stays together?)  Any who...  I was thanking Heavenly Father for my trials, and for my set backs.  I told Heavenly Father that I was grateful for my problems and for my flat tire and my son laughed, at me, in the middle of our prayer.

It was funny!  It is funny!  And if you know me, you know, I like to be funny!  But I was serious, kinda, well, as serious as I can be.  I was seriously thanking Heavenly Father for my problems and telling him I love my problems.  And that my friend, is one of my New Year's Resolution.

My New Year's Resolution is to love my problems.  I have a choice, really.  I can get upset and cry, which I do, or I can love my problems and laugh like my son did, because it is really kind of funny.

You have to understand, it wasn't just an ordinary flat tire.  It was a flat tire on my 4X4 that would get me out of the snow, and into town.  You see, the snow was about 3 feet deep, and you cannot go anywhere if you don't have a 4X4. 

So, when I loved my problem, laughed about it, and then saw the blessing in it, which was to stay home and hang out with my son, it was nothing.

I would say that my New Year's Resolution is destressing, wouldn't you?

So...  What is your New Year's Resolution?  What are you going to do to destress yourself?  Hurry up and pick one because together, you and I, are going to change that stressful habit into a successful practice.

I will save my other New Year's Resolutions for next post!

Have a great week and don't forget to have fun and be playful!

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS 2011!!!

Hey there! 
Did you make your New Year's Resolutions yet?
Did you read my post, 'DESTRESS YOURSELF 2011' from yesterday?
Well, I was basically pleading with you to make NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS.
You gotta do it, you gotta set goals to move forward. 
Now if you have already made some resolutions, please disregard the continued pleading, because here I go.
Whatever is going on in your life, you can make it better.  If your life is perfect, you can still set some goals.

But!!!  If your life is not perfect, now is the time to make it so.  Now is always a good time to make things perfect.
Okay, so, if you don't know what you can do for a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION, then let me spark some creativity for you.
Why not go for something BIG!!!  Bigger than more money, or a better job, or a better body, or a better relationship.  Let's go BIG by changing YOU!  Change your stressful habit.  Just pick one stressful habit that you may have, and change it.
Let me list some stressful habits...
Always being serious
Unhappy, not enjoying life
Never having fun
Thinking life is hard
Dwelling on what you don't have
Worrying morning, noon, and night
Getting offended and letting the offense race in your mind
Always in a hurry
Low self-confidence
Low self-esteem
Low self-image
Being very critical of self
Being very critical of others
Being Angry
Being Irritable
Being Moody
Being Depressed
Being Anxious
Living life in the constant state of going nowhere
Physical exhaustion
Lacking Spirituality
Any of these sound familiar?
Do you have any of these behaviors?
Behaviors are just habits, you know?
If you have any of these habits, you are contributing to your own unhappiness, your own stress!
So let's destress, shall we?
Take the habit you have and make it into a goal.  For example, if you are always serious, it is time to be playful.  Make your NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION to be MORE PLAYFUL.  If you are always unhappy, it is time to be HAPPY.  In other words, your goal is to be happier.
This may sound silly, or it even may not make sense, but this is what destressing yourself is all about.  It is about finding your stressful habits, eliminating them, and replacing them with successful practices.
All those other unhealthy habits like smoking, drinking, eating too much, or creating drama could all stem from the dissatisfaction in life that may be caused by one or two of the stressful habits mentioned above.
If you have one (or more) of the stressful habits mentioned above, or a stressful habit you know is causing your unhappiness, then turn it into a goal, a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION, so that you can destress yourself in 2011.
Okay, I am done pleading, FOR TODAY!!!
Have a great day, week, month, and year...
Don't forget to have fun and be playful...
Speak soon...
Elizabeth

DESTRESS YOURSELF 2011

Are you ready for permanent stress relief in 2011?

Do you have stress at work or at home?

Maybe you have anxiety or depression and you need a little help to relieve stress and relax.

Maybe you are burned out and need to regenerate.

Whatever it is that is stressing you out, it is time to make a new life of destressing yourself.

Do you create New Year's Resolutions?  I do, every year.  I believe in never ending goal setting.

If you are not moving forward, you are stagnant, and if you are stagnant things usually do not improve.

So...

If you haven't made any New Year's Resolutions, let's do that now.

Take a piece of paper and write down all the things you want.

Do you want to get healthier?

Do you want to create more energy?

Do you want a better relationship, job, or home?

Whatever it is, write it down because that is the first step to destressing yourself.

The first step is knowing what you want that will improve your life. 

Improvement will help you feel better about your life and better about yourself. 

So, make a list, NOW!!!

Do it now!!!

Just thinking about a better life will make you feel good, I promise you.

Until next post, don't forget to have fun and be playful...

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

A SIMPLE STRESS TEST BY MY FRIEND KUMARA

My friend Kumar has received his PhD in Psychology and I wanted to congratulate him. 

CONGRATULATIONS KUMAR!!!

Here is a Simple Stress Test from his website

Simple stress test

See the four squares yellow, green, red, and blue. Whether you are using or loosing our life energy?. You can check it now. 

Passive – waiting for something to happen (chance)

Active – make something to happen (choice)

Confused – obstacle or lack of clear plan or goal (confuse)

Withdraw – give up, avoidance (cut down)

And characteristics which one you belong. 

Confusion – red
Chance – yellow
Choice - green

The colour yellow, green, and red represent the traffic signal

You can stay temporarily if you are in yellow,
You can go if you are in green because you have learn to use your stress
You must stop if you are in red. You have to check your goal, value, believes, attitude… it is necessary to correct yourself before you proceed.
If you are in blue you may need assistance, help, advice from others

STRESSFUL EMOTIONAL HABITS

When we think of habits we think of food, cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs. We can also add caffeine, shopping, and sex to that list. These are obvious habits that we are well aware of and know the consequences if we continue.

Another habit that may be evaluated is our emotions. When we are presented with a stressful situation it may be a habit to feel fear or worry.

Some people may even react to stressful situations with anger, frustration, or irritability. These emotions are the cause of our stress. For example, when we are working on the car or working on the house and the job gets difficult we may get angry, frustrated, or irritable. Sound familiar? This is a habit that we have of reacting to certain situations and it is the source of our stress.

Another example may be, when we have something big that breaks down like a car, washer or dryer, air conditioner, or a water heater and we don't have the money to pay for it we may feel fear or worry. This is another habit that we may have of reacting to circumstances that is the culprit of our stress.

When we become aware of our habitual reactions of our emotions we can take responsibility and change these habits for the better. If we get angry or irritable often, we may have created habits of anger and irritability, which can be changed through education.

Awareness is the number one key. If we are aware of these negative emotional reactions we can take responsibility and change these emotions to the opposite.

We can change anger, frustration, or irritability to patience and tolerance.

We can change doubt, fear, and worry to confidence, security, and hope.

It is not necessary to get angry, frustrated, or irritable. It is not necessary to have doubt, fear, or worry. We can take control of our reactions.

Sounds simple but is not necessarily easy. The hard part is the 20, 30, 40, or more years of the tendency to react this way.

What can we do to destress our negative habits of reacting?

The first key is awareness. Like an addict we cannot get help unless we think we need help.

The next step is to talk to a professional or read a book on anger or stress, bibliotherapy is one of the best ways to change.

Another great way of being aware of our emotions is being aware of our thoughts because it is the thought that we are having that causes our feelings.

And finally, never ending goal setting of changing our habits. If we want to change behavior that we have had for years it may take some time and hard work. Never ending goal setting is the way to move forward. If we don't move forward we are stagnant, if we are stagnant our problems get bigger, if our problems get bigger that causes an increase in our stress.

If you get angry, frustrated, or irritable frequently, or even once in a while, you are creating great stress on yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  Make it a goal to stop your negative emotions and replace them with positive one's like calmness, happiness, satisfaction, and even temperedness (I think I just made a word).

You can discover your stressful habits by destressing yourself. When you destress yourself you learn to change your stressful thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitudes to more successful thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitudes, which means changing stressful habits into successful practices.

Any questions???  Comment below, or email me, elizabethstanfill@gmail.com.

Have a super duper week, and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Elizabeth